i am a ticking time bomb of fury.

well, it's finally happened...

i said that i wouldn't post until either the u.s. produced gold in the men's slalom or dick cheney actually shot someone in the heart.  i'm taking these events as a definite sign that says "hey fuckface...write something."

i'm about to shoot my enormous blog-load...

...here it comes...

oh...

OOHHHH...

oh?

...nevermind.

oh...happy birthday, nomad. 

dig this...i lost my cell phone, but i got the (non) drunk dial.  can't call you back because i have all my phone numbers stored in my phone.

during the past week i have replaced four light fixtures and just installed a new switched light in our living room today.  the great thing is that i figured it out completely by myself.  no manuals, no advice...

it's not as if i am contemplating a career change or looking into getting a contractor's license, i'm just happy that i can do everything in our house by myself.

future projects?  install hardwood floors...bathroom remodel...new interior doors throughout...painting...

video game nerds (those who spend an abnormally long time playing in one sitting without having a broken leg) will even think this is pathetic. 

i got a demo disc for ps2 and found this game that my 6 year old son and i like to play together.  so much so that we had to get it for him as an xmas gift.  the stupid thing is that i think i'm more excited about it than he is.  the game?  lego star wars. 

i'm not even going to defend my position...just bracing myself for the nerdy pot-shots.

currently i'm working nights in a pre-press department making a decent wage and working with a guy i hate.  i talked to my boss about moving to days.  we had a meeting that lasted 4 hours...talked about the company's plans and my plans.  i basically said that i wanted to move to days to have more time with my fam and that i wanted to do more at work, specifically design/marketing work.  the meeting ended with him offering me a promotion, a $2/hr. raise and saying that there's another position (currently vacant) that he could see me moving into in a relatively short time.  fantastic.  though i'm still working the swing shift, this will give me experience in the last thing they're looking for (that i don't have a lot of) in this other salaried position during the day side.

then i found out the number of transfer credits i will be getting for art school in portland from my bachelor's degree i completed in wisconsin.  i thought i'd get 15 credits or so (out of 180 total).  that would have been great by itself because the program i completed is so very different than the one i'm going into.  at any rate, i spoke with the asst. director of admissions and he told me that i will have 57 credits entering the summer term.  woo-hoo.  so, i have 1/3 done without ever attending a class.  that translates to $21,603 that i don't have to pay!  holy shit!  so, my bachelor's degree from wisconsin, which was about $18,000, gave me a degree plus transfer credits that net me more than i paid in the first place.

loans + my wage increase = enough money to pay for school and still pay the bills during a half-time enrollment.  plus, i only have two gen. ed. classes to take instead of 20!  yee-haw.

i'm going to art school to learn 3d animation.  it will rock and i will be famous and make movies. 

how is it that people over 1000 miles away from texas end up speaking like they're trailer trash from that state (or mississippi, alabama, tennessee, etc.)?  answer:  country music.  here's how i back up that claim:

country musicians (that's their word for it anyway) speak like they're poor white trash, eventhough many of them are ridiculously wealthy and send their children to private schools.

it's that slack-jawed accent that gets broadcast on the radio and television a la cmt.  now, don't be alarmed, but there are people out there who are proud to identify with words and phrases like hick, red neck, and white trash.  these are the people who, eventhough they are hundreds or thousands of miles away, begin to speak like their heros on the radio.  they call into these radio stations and start using southern drawl and it's so infectious that the on-air personalities begin to use it (maybe on purpose) to identify with their listeners.

it's all faked.  i would bet that over 50% of all country musicians fake their accent.  for instance, keith urban is from fucking australia.  his singing voice is between the mason-dixon line to north texas. 

not all genres are exempt.  punk artists from the u.s. sound like they're from the u.k. and u.k. alt/pop/rock artists sound (for the most part) like they're from the u.s.  there is one difference, though.  while i like punk music, you will never see me going around saying words like "bollocks," "bloody," "spot of tea," "lass," "football (in reference to soccer)," or "queen mum."

please stop, unless you're from any of the following states:

texas
oklahoma
kansas
arkansas
mississippi
alabama
either carolina
west virginia

thank you

dear jack johnson and coldplay,

FUCK YOU.

you're all a bunch of no-talent rip-off artists who, for some reason, chose to rip off EXTREMELY popular artists which makes it abundantly clear that you have no clue.

another fuck you goes out to alternative radio for hyping the hell out of these bitches.  eat shit.  all you alt-radio programmers wouldn't know cutting edge if it bit your ass.  dammit! 

- mr. furious

What the fuck is up, all you crazy bitches?

excellent, i made a top blog.



now my brothers and sisters will band together from horizon to horizon
to rise against that which is between us and sensibility. we shall
ascend to the proper level of intellecualism instead of being banished
to the merky depths we have been banished to after re-non-election of
the most daft ruler in our world's history.

notice anything in my tag list that hasn't been mentioned in the past month or so?

we've all been duped, people.  our government has flashed shiny objects in our faces (terry schiavo's feeding tube, major league baseball and sterioids, etc.) and said "look at this, isn't it pretty?" while they pass legislation to drill for oil in anwar, a national wildlife refuge in alaska. 

and good for them.  what this will actually do is give us not 50, not 100, but ONE year's worth of oil for the good old u.s. of a.  plus, it's not likely that we will see any decrease in the price of gas when this happens.

it's alright though,  you're all too stupid for it to make a difference to you.  besides, with all this juicy hollywood gossip flying around, who has time to care about thousands of caribu.  it's not as if this could possibly be the beginning of a larger scheme to open up all of the national parks to the same sort of land-rape.  there's no way that the government could possibly drill off the gulf coast of florida or clear cut millions of acres of forest in the pacific northwest.  who cares about any wildlife that would  be displaced from something like that and begin moving into the neighborhoods we built in the vicinity...like MOUNTAIN LIONS AND COUGARS, who like little tasty puppies and CHILDREN. 

it's time we elect representatives who have our well being at heart and fire those who don't.  get involved with YOUR country.

please help me.

i despirately need to find a place that sells frozen custard.  if you don't know what this is, it's like ice cream but better. 

that's such an awesome fuckin' song.  it's done by cornershop (the same band that did brimful of asha).  i haven't been able to find it...ever.

back in 1997 i lived in wisconsin.  i went to summerfest (the best music festival in the world), 10 days of awesome bands and all that shit.  this year was particularly excellent, but this story isn't about the music, it's about a t-shirt.

i bought a t-shirt that had a colloquialism on it, because people from milwaukee, wi have a funny way of speaking.  "ya der hay" was the dominant message on the shirt.  i bought it, though i was nervous that i would see one of my friends in the communications department at school wearing the same shirt.

no such luck.

actually i never saw anyone wearing another one of these shirts.  it was pretty cool.  anyway, i tossed it out after i ripped a hole in it after 6 or 7 years.  it had a good life.

two days ago, i was driving in BEAVERTON, OREGON and saw this dude running and he had a dark olive green shirt with tan/gold writing on it, and as i drove by, i saw the words "ya der hey."  the exact same shirt i once had.  never saw one in wisconsin, but i did see one in oregon.  i don't get it.

i just love seeing shit from wisconsin out here.  it's so bizzare.

when i was invited, you were so cool, gmail.  one gigabyte of storage space...10 megabyte attachments...and only six (6) invitations.  it was the six that made it cool.  it was the six that made it coveted.  one day i saw ten (10).  i thought, "hey, they must be getting great response...but the whole six degrees of separation theory is out the window."  gmail, who needs 50 invitations?  i decided i would try to spread these before they bumped me up to 100.  i don't even know 100 people!  i knocked off a few invitations, but then what did you do, gmail?  one week later you upped my total back to 50!  at this point i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle in a horror movie, or at least like i'm in a realationship that has lost its spark.

do people like pop music because they think it's good or because it's easily accessible?  i looked at the 15 most blogged-about bands and they're all this piss-poor pop-punk garbage.  well, not all of them, just a couple actually, but why are they popular?  punk is an attitude, dammit.  don't tell me something is punk when the song is about love or teenage sulky angst.  nobody loves me...boo freakin' hoo.  punk used to be about social issues and people getting fucked over, not people being sad because they're not getting fucked.

two bottles of wine and no fucking corkscrew!  i'm in the 9th circle of hell.

the artist of the week #4

this week's artist is a dj. as a general rule, i hate djs. but like every rule, they can be bent or broken. this week's artist shattered my rule. this fucker did the most genius thing ever. took the music from the beatles (white album) and mixed it with jay-z's black album. the result: the gray album. holy shit!

dj danger mouse

suggested tracks: 99 problems, what more can i say, dirt off your shoulder, change clothes, december 4th

one word that describe this artist: damn

sounds like: the gray album sounds like jay-z and the beatles, but check out djdangermouse.com for other great stuff.

qat, qaid, qoph, faqir, qanat, tranq, qindar, qintar, qwerty, sheqel, qindarka, sheqalim

farmers, you're fucking imbeciles.  you voted for bush, now you had better not complain about getting fucked harder than your daughter gets it from the ranch hand.

bush's budget calls for a 10% cut in the federal budget for agriculture's discressionary spending and massive cuts to farmers' subsidy payments. 

ooh, there's more.  the farmers are already stupid, lets eliminate or cut funding for 48 educational programs as well.  woo-hoo!  it seems that bush has decided that, as a nation, it's better to be stupid and have loyalty than have intellectual debate and a forward progress for our country and the world.

dammit, it's time to stop voting for your fucking morality (as if republicans have a moral fiber among all of them anyway) and start voting for progress.  vote for what helps you, not your church.  vote for what helps humanity, not corporations (which hurt farming and education).  get your heads out of your asses and into the fucking newspapers...yes, more than one.  stop watching fox news and start watching the trail of money and be the conscience of our elected officials.